After Beyonce’s totally awkward photo-shoot earlier this year outside a dilapidated Brunswick weatherboard house, it appears Brunswick has suddenly found itself on the celebrity map. Seeking interest from bloodsucking agents from Hollywood to New York. This now, like a mutating virus, has extended into ‘World-class’ Superstar Dj’s and their label managers. In a email to Culture Jam, now public thanks to Brunswikileaks, Tom Gleeson from Sony BMG states,
‘Brunswick is so freaking hot right now! it represents the exact counter culture rebellion that we are trying to sell to rich white kids across the world. Everyone is starting to catch on that our dj’s don’t actually have any skills apart from fist pumping and good hair styles, and we can only budget for so many fireworks to drown out bad dj mixes’. ‘But’, he goes on ‘Brunswick can give us back the street cred we need’.
With Summerdayze now cancelled, two of Sony’s biggest represented EDM artists, Steve Aoki and Calvin Harris refused to give up their 1st class flights, leading to Mr Gleeson contacting Culture Jam with this proposal, trying hard to take advantage of them being in Melbourne.
‘We saw your Festival ‘Stacks On’ and would love to get some shots of the guys there. They don’t have to play any music… I’m actually starting to question if they are even capable of that. We just want them to be seen sipping a latte in Brunswick, then partying it up somewhere underground, so others will believe in what they do. Please, we need this’.
Before forwarding to Brunswikileaks, Culture Jam replied “Dumpster diving is really at the heart of Brunswick’s Culture, we know some great bins the guys can hang out in to look trendy, and I’m sure the rest of Brunswick will appreciate it too”.
Thankfully, only talented artists will be playing at Stacks On Festival coming up at CERES Enviorment Park on January 5th, and for those genuinely disappointed Summadayze was cancelled, Brunswick is just a short walk from the end of the Frankston line. See you there.
Steve Aoki throws cake at fan after pointing out he can’t actually mix.